"True Self Versus False Self…Which Is It?

Many years ago, I (Jerry) operated significantly out of my false self. I didn’t realize it at the time but there were indicators that this was true. For example, I could not be vulnerable or transparent; I always had to “measure up” and I definitely could not fail. I often hid my imperfections and my insecurities and I struggled with addictive tendencies. I was a “nice guy” but I did not feel very much at all. In essence, “no one was really home on the inside.” This did not change until God captured my heart and began to dismantle my ways to hide and self-protect. Walking through a painful healing process revealed a part of me—my true self—that I didn’t even know existed. Finding my true, God-given self allowed me to know my calling and destiny, and it is the main reason I became a counselor and I can share this with you today.

In this first video clip, I share more about the false self/true self dynamic, how it develops, and what is involved in the process of finding the true self within.

In the second video clip, Denise shares some of the negative rules and messages that are often learned as children in a dysfunctional family system and how these can impact us as adults. These negative, shame-based rules contribute to the development of a false self discussed in the first video.

Click on the videos below to view these two clips: